I've waited, hoping that my anger and furor would subside as the hours ticked by. But it hasn't. It still stings. And I have found that most things lose their sting when a violent bath of cold words is poured over them, so allow me to vent, dear reader.
I was in a wedding this weekend.
It was wonderful.
Beautiful.
Picturesque.
Delightful.
Except for one portion of the ceremony.
We were all standing there, listening to the traditional "charge to the couple." The Christmas lights shimmered appropriately. My bouquet smelled amazing, and my bridesmaid's dress fit. (Hallelujah.) I stood there, smiling with joy, until I heard the officiant:
"We are delighted these two are joined today. Because they are married they will now fully live their lives. Without marriage, their lives would be empty and unfulfilled."
I felt like I had been slapped. The sting of those words made my eyes well up with tears. Hopefully people watching thought, "How sweet, the bridesmaid is touched by the ceremony..."
But I was thinking, "My life isn't worth living? I haven't truly lived? My life is empty and unfulfilled? What about all those years of school so I can help others? What about the children who I've spent delightful afternoons with? What about those little old men at the Veterans Home who only smile when they came to speech therapy? That's my empty and unfulfilled life? You're telling me that I will never truly live? That my purpose to bring glory to God is empty unless there's a man by my side?" Then I got angry. "Would anyone notice if he showed up missing, because right now I could throttle him in a dark corner and not care about the ramifications."
But my anger was brief (it's exhausting to stay angry!), and now it just hurts occasionally, when it gets hit at just the right spot.
It upsets me that things like this can cause that reaction. I don't like that raw, sensitive area. I wish I could cover it up and never reveal the slightest hint of it. Better yet, I wish it would heal, go away, develop into a tiny scar to chuckle at with fellow war buddies someday.
And maybe it will. God is good. God is enough. Contrary to whatever any officiant may tell me, I can live out my purpose alone or paired. To God be the glory.
I wonder if that pastor had ever read I Corinthians 7...
3 comments:
Ouch.
I hear you.
We all know that the Apostle Paul lived a radically unfulfilled life...seeing as he never married. Tragically, Jesus never married either.
What a waste...
[I do so wish that people would THINK before they make such idiotic, ignorant statements.]
Like, I want to understand what he may have MEANT to say... but, just, nooo.
Yeah, I was going to comment with deep scathing sarcasm that Jesus must have had an empty and unfulfilled life. But I'm too late.
Of course...take heart...our lives are empty and unfulfilled until our Bridegroom comes and we accept Him. This is the truth that I shove into my wound that also won't scar. We have a bigger promise to cling to.
Too bad that's not the story that was told by the officiate that day.
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