Eating now... Humble Pie.

I will be quite horribly, bluntly honest:

I am a proud person.

You're probably rolling your eyes going, "Well, yeah!" but for me this is a startling revelation. (Well, not entirely, but the grossness of my pride, its very largeness is unbelievable!)

I don't like to be wrong. I don't like to make mistakes. I don't like to have to justify myself and my decisions to others. I hate, hate, HATE it.

I would like for everyone to just blindly accept that I'm amazing, that I make amazing decisions, that what I do is amazing, and that all-round amazingness just exudes from my persona (kinda like a bad cologne).

But this is not the case. And I'm finding that the pride coupled with my intense desire to please people can make my life incredibly miserable at times. So I have a new mantra:

"Am I pleasing God? Am I pleasing God? Lord, help me see, give me wisdom. Am I pleasing you?"

Based on the answer to that question, I then move forward in one direction or another. If I am pleasing God, it doesn't matter what else is going on. It doesn't matter what others think- as much as I may love and desire to please them. And it doesn't matter one, stinkin' iota if I'm not giving off "amazingness cologne." (Who wants to be compared to bad cologne anyway?)

So I'm just going to have to swallow my pride. Admit that I have a tendency to be a total, well, ahem... donkey. And get busy changing and growing in Christ-likeness. I really wish I wasn't quite so flawed... **sigh**