Be careful what you wish for...

Tonight I had the wonderful delight of hanging with some of the "Cardigans." I had just bemoaned to Bunny, prior to this meeting, that I never saw or talked to persons of the opposite gender, and that I missed it. "It would be nice," I said, "to meet some guys."

This is a story of how God listens, and displays His sense of humor...

Bunny, Aims and I were sipping yummy Starbucks, talking about everything and nothing, when a rather battered, unbuttoned man approached me at our al fresco seating.

"Hey, thar. What's yer name?" he said, holding out his grimy hand to shake mine- his partially buttoned shirt flapping in the wind to reveal a portly, hairy tummy.

I leaned back (ever so slightly) and said politely (hoping to make it sound genuine- since it is a smidge true-so as not to hurt his feelings), "I am so sorry, but I'm a little bit of a germ-ophobe, if you don't mind." And I tucked my hands securely around my iced beverage.

"Oh, I know I stink a bit. I live on the streets, you know, but I just need someone to take me in, you know. Let me have a shower."

"Ummhmm." (I attempted detached politeness. After all, the poor man is homeless.)

"You know... You could take me home. I need a shower. I need a shower bad. And then we could have sex. There's always sex. We could do that, you know, and more- if you wanted."

This time my recoil was not at all subtle, "No." (I stated this very emphatically while Aims slowly pulled her mace out of her purse) "There are several places downtown where you can get a shower, if you would like."

He was persistent, "No, no, no. That won't do. I want to go to your place. I mean, we don't have to have sex. You know... if you don't want to but- you nev---"

I interrupted,

"Sir, I am not taking you home. Good night."

"You are a... " And he ambled away muttering inappropriate comments about my "bad manners" under his breath. (Comments that he proceeded to continue loudly muttering from almost a block away for the next forty-five minutes.)

He wasn't gone for two seconds, before a handsome D.J. exited Panera, and approached our table. "Hello, ladies! Hey, I have too many cookies- would you like to take several? I won't be able to eat them all."

Bunny chose a chocolate walnut. I was in too much shock from my sex solicitation to show a marked preference between chocolate walnut and chocolate chip. While they debated the values of each, I smiled in a rather glazed way.

Chocolate man turned away when another man approached the table: short, studious, with glasses and a very traditional polo.

"Excuse me, ladies, I couldn't help but notice that that other gentleman was giving you some trouble... Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

We assured him that we were fine.

"There are some other guys inside here, and I thought about telling them what was going on, but I decided to come out first and check. I guess if anything happened, I wanted all the glory..." I think I laughed so hard I snorted. He grinned amiably back,


"Well, I see he's still here- just down the sidewalk. I'll sit over here and read for a while- don't mind me, but if you need anything- please let me know." And he returned to his book of anime.

At the end of our sipping, he walked us to our cars.

I met men tonight: a homeless sex solicitor, a chocolate offering record-spinner, and a gentlemanly nerd who reads anime.

Now tell me that God doesn't have a sense of humor...