No one had better tape-record my Tylenol P.M. ramblings...

Last night I was convinced that I was getting married in a drainage ditch.

I got trapped in a MacDonald's play-scape. It was slowly filling up with water.

I wandered up and down Target aisles for hours.

I was turning into a giant tortoise.

I was in Hawaii. A tsunami came. But somehow lava saved me.




Fact and fiction meld into one cohesive mess when I'm drugged...