It happens a lot. I let one little thing (or sometimes a conglomeration of little things) become larger and larger in my mind. And then I go into camouflage mode. For some reason I think this is a good thing... (still not sure how I arrived at this brilliant deduction), but I labor (erroneously) under the delusion that I should cover up or not address the issue. I think that by doing so I'm maintaining control and not harming anyone around me- not blowing things out of proportion unnecessarily. However, sooner or later those little things add up to straws that break the camel's back, and I'm done. Finished. I completely lose it.
Sometimes I go off the deep end and buy throw pillows ( I love buying pillows). Other times I write volatile, fiery blog and journal entries. Or I'll curl up on the couch and escape through a chick-flick, and there are some days when I'll pull out my bread pans and begin punching some dough.
And sometimes I hurt someone else.
Then I have to lay it all out there. All my horrible, entangling (wrong!) thought patterns. All the convoluted pathways that led me to my emotional outburst. All the sin that I've indulged in (sometimes consciously, sometimes not).
And what hurts the most is not the huge slice of humility that I am forced to imbibe, but rather the knowledge that my lack of self-control has caused pain for those around me. It's after those episodes that I'm grateful for verses such as Ephesians 1:7.
In HIM we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.
1 comment:
We've all been there chica.
If you ever want to watch a chick-flick with someone, I'm your girl!
Sorry you didn't realize you had the delay! At least you got some extra work done!
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