This is me....FREAKING OUT!

I am terrified of new situations. Completely, utterly, undeniably terrified.

Now, new situations that I can CONTROL are a different matter. For example- I like trying new foods, I love going to new places on vacation, I'm a fan of trying the latest fashion trend.

I hate new situations that require a total shake-up: a complete re-ordering of every aspect of my life, coupled with new authority figures, new requirements, and the need for proactive thought and actions.

And that's what I have to do.

I'm currently searching for externships to fulfill my speech pathology graduate school requirements. Purdue does not arrange these for you- you are required to pursue and nail down these 12 week stints into medical or rehabilitation facilities. Almost everyone in my major has decided on a placement. I just started looking.

I have to find a place to live, someone to supervise me, a place that will take me. It's like a new job, without the pay or long-term stability.

I am freaking out.

I just got off the phone with Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and the Rehab Institute of Chicago. I still have to call N.Y.U. Med Center, Mayo Clinic, Cincinnati Children's Hospital, and the Children's Hospital of Cleveland. I have to find the person who's in charge of the speech pathologists (hard to do, believe it or not), request an interview, send a resume, interview, follow-up, and then find housing, accommodations, and send in contract finalization before August.

I'm not an incredible student, I'm a horrible interviewee (which doesn't spell great success), and I don't know anyone at any of the places where I want to wind up.

I AM FREAKING OUT!!!

And, shoot, I have an exam in an hour...