Friends are friends when you can argue over Harrison Ford's good looks, discuss politics, bemoan veggie-eating habits, and laugh at '90s shoulder pads

I am one lucky lady to have such magnificent friends!


Thanks for movie night, ladies!

The Summer of...

There are periods of my life in which I believe that there is little I can do, and even less that I can do well. Instead of "girding up my loins" and getting dirty and sweaty to correct my flaws and failures (or at the very least, shrug them off, laugh, and try again) I crumple into a heap and moan, "Woe is me! I am a waste of space!" And then I proceed to eat a carton of ice cream while watching two hours of "FRIENDS" on TBS. My subsequent apathy and pity cause me to shy away from people, convinced that I am the scum of the earth. My confidence is shot, my cheerfulness is obliterated, I feebly stay upright (but just because it's hard to eat ice cream lying down...)

After emerging from one of these aforementioned slumps, I had an epiphany. It wasn't a very brilliant one, but that may be attributed to the fact that ice cream goes to my head.

I decided to become confident. Not cocky. Not proud. But content in the fact that God and "His power has given us everything we need for life and godliness." By acknowledging this- I attack my view that I am all that I need to succeed. And that I have everything that I need to live successfully. I don't. And I can't. And when I think that I can and subsequently fail, I plunge into an ice cream eating stupor.

So, no longer! I'm going to attack three flaws that are undermining my ability to please God with my gifts and abilities. (Keep in mind these are over-arching goals- my strategic planning father taught me to under gird these with small, measurable steps, and I have.)

1. I will become a better steward of my time.
2. I will become a better steward of my body. (No more ice cream eating binges...)
3. I will become a better steward of gifts, abilities, and opportunities.

This is the summer. The summer of confidence!

I'm throwing out my ice cream...

Red velvet cake adventures and a subsequent decision

Today, Julie and I embarked on an adventure.

We made a red velvet cake.

Trevor's birthday is tomorrow, and to celebrate the inauguration of his 19th birthday, Julie and I made a red velvet cake from scratch. Red velvet is Trevor's favorite, so red velvet the cake must be.

Have you ever made a cake (from scratch) with a three year old? How about a cake that requires two full bottles of red food coloring? How about a cake, from scratch, with red food coloring, and a final addition of puffy baking soda and vinegar- perfectly calculated to explode in an inquisitive three year-old's face?

We ended our cake adventure (debacle, explosion, catastrophe, your choice) singing to "Hillbilly Rockstar" while dancing around the kitchen in our aprons.

It was a total and complete blast. And it made me decide something...

I want to be a mom. And, just in case that doesn't work out, I've created a back-up plan:

I'M GOING TO OPEN A PRE-SCHOOL!

It will be awesome.

Oh... it's so true...

"...and the Lord takes away."

This morning God showed His infinite, unattainable wisdom and love once again. And, once again, I cannot fathom His purpose, His plan, while I'm struggling to find his love.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word,
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know- thus sayeth the Lord
Jesus, Jesus, How I trust thee,
How I've proved thee o'r and o'r,
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus,
Oh for grace to trust thee more.


I don't understand why a God who gave His only Son, would take life from those persons He came to save.

Last night, a fire took the lives of Leah, Harrison, and Sophie, leaving only their father and husband alive.

Harrison was a 2nd grader in my choir and Sunday school class, and although it's not right to have favorites- I succumbed and he was one of mine. I don't understand. I cannot fathom this. My little Harrison, who was growing up into such a godly little man... gone. I don't understand... I will miss him. I DO miss him. His perky smile, his ready answer, his preppy little comb-over and glowing face. I will never see him again... on this earth. But although I'll never see Harrison grow to adulthood, I will see him again someday. And although it hurts, and I don't understand, and I just want him and his mother and sister back, I just keep telling myself, "God is bigger. He is in control." And I know that some day...

He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces...
(Isaiah 25:8)

But it's so hard right now...

Lessons Learned While Job Hunting...

When your schooling (i.e. time on campus) takes up as much time as a full time job- it severely limits your options.

Every secretary's name is "Nancy."

Newspapers don't want female sport's writers.

Electric bills always come at the most inopportune times...

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. (Job 1:21)

Yesterday, on my way back from family vacation, I learned that my funding for this summer and next year has been taken away.

Today, while cleaning and doing laundry I had an epiphany...

I have a lot of clothes.

No Good Thing

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."

I am not good at school.

I am not good at writing.

I am not good at being a sister, daughter, or friend.

I am not skilled in anyway.

I do not own any of my gifts or abilities.

I do not lay claim to successes, awards, or accomplishments.

Anything I have is not me- it's God.




You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

This is me....FREAKING OUT!

I am terrified of new situations. Completely, utterly, undeniably terrified.

Now, new situations that I can CONTROL are a different matter. For example- I like trying new foods, I love going to new places on vacation, I'm a fan of trying the latest fashion trend.

I hate new situations that require a total shake-up: a complete re-ordering of every aspect of my life, coupled with new authority figures, new requirements, and the need for proactive thought and actions.

And that's what I have to do.

I'm currently searching for externships to fulfill my speech pathology graduate school requirements. Purdue does not arrange these for you- you are required to pursue and nail down these 12 week stints into medical or rehabilitation facilities. Almost everyone in my major has decided on a placement. I just started looking.

I have to find a place to live, someone to supervise me, a place that will take me. It's like a new job, without the pay or long-term stability.

I am freaking out.

I just got off the phone with Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and the Rehab Institute of Chicago. I still have to call N.Y.U. Med Center, Mayo Clinic, Cincinnati Children's Hospital, and the Children's Hospital of Cleveland. I have to find the person who's in charge of the speech pathologists (hard to do, believe it or not), request an interview, send a resume, interview, follow-up, and then find housing, accommodations, and send in contract finalization before August.

I'm not an incredible student, I'm a horrible interviewee (which doesn't spell great success), and I don't know anyone at any of the places where I want to wind up.

I AM FREAKING OUT!!!

And, shoot, I have an exam in an hour...

What if...?

I sit here, studying a subject I have little or no interest in (aural rehabilitation), and as I try to cram another fact about self-assessments and the hearing handicap index into my brain, I am very tempted to day dream. What if I hadn't chosen to become a speech pathologist? What if I had gone a different route? What would I be right now, if I hadn't bailed from a major that I decided on at the the young age of 18?

I'd like to be a writer for a fashion magazine- maybe eventually moving up the ranks to write for something like the New Yorker. I wouldn't want to do current events or anything like that- but I'd like to review restaurants, workouts, and make pithy statements about relationships...


Or I could be a party planner. I like that. All the details, all the people, all the artistic creativity. Of course, the hours stink, and I'd probably end up working other people's weddings and parties instead of ever planning my own. (Oh wait, I already do that...)


I thought about med school. I thought about it a lot. If it weren't for the cadavers...


Or a business exec. My Junior year of college I almost changed my major- or at least applied to MBA programs instead of SLP programs. I would love to own my own company- or work for one of those insanely competitive Fortune 500 company that would require 80 hours of work a week and jetting all over the world. Ahhh.... that sounds amazing....



And, hey, as long as we're shooting for dream jobs- I'd love to be a TV host. Like Good Morning America, or the Today Show. I can be perky in the a.m.!


I am so totally procrastinating...

Ouch! My wisdom teeth are coming in and I can't eat (my jaw won't open, it's swollen) I now understand the appeal of this. I want mine refrigerated...

And yes, normal people get their wisdom teeth much earlier (for instance, when they still are on their parents' marvelous dental plan). I'm a late bloomer. Without a dental plan.



ouch.