I find that the more I develop my relationship with my heavenly Father, the more I am painfully aware of my own short-comings. Although my view of his love may expand, my view of my own depravity also grows. There are days when I want to quietly, shame-facedly place my hand in His, and whisper, "Why me? Why do you love me?"
The more I understand His love, the more incredibly my life appears. The details which He orchestrated for the purpose of bringing Himself glory, He was able at the same time to work for my good. Such a fact is too wonderful and big for my finite thoughts. I love this quote from Jerry Bridge's book (you should read it) "Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts":
"We mistakenly look for tokens of God's love in happiness. We should instead look for them in His faithful and persistent work to conform us to Christ. God in His infinite wisdom and perfect love will never over-discipline us; He will never allow any adversity in our lives that is not ultimately for our good.... Our doubts do not destroy God's love, nor does our faith create it."
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