Lucid Panic Attack

So.

Last night I had my first panic attack.

A panic attack is defined by Webster's as: a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety. 

I think more descriptive persons (no offense, my dear Webster) have given more details. Common symptoms are an inability to control breathing, crying, posture, etc.

Well, yesterday evening, I got a call from my parents. Apparently my license has been suspended because I was in an accident without insurance (remember that fateful July crash? Yah...). Let me be very clear about something- I do not drive without insurance. No. Not at all. I am fully covered, even beyond the state minimum. But somehow, the state still doesn't know that...

Because of my infraction, my license was suspended and I owed the state $150 to reinstate it.

Enter panic.

I don't have $150 dollars, I barely have $15.  And SUSPENDED!?!?! What!?!?

I started to cry. (Typical girl reaction.) And then I started to cry harder. And then the breath started coming in and out at an incredibly rapid rate. Then it stopped coming in and just kept going out. I collapsed on the floor, sobbing and hyperventilating uncontrollably.

But the strange thing was that my mind was very calm (after the initial panic). I'm sitting there, barely able to breathe, and the following thoughts are going through a very lucid, controlled mind:

"Am I having a panic attack? Huh. I can't breathe, that's a sign... I shouldn't be panicking. That's not biblical. I need to get this under-control. Mom's NANC certified. What would Mom say? I wonder what I can do to make this stop. What do people do in the movies? Brown paper bags. Wait... I don't have a brown paper bag. This is ridiculous. I should be able to stop. What are my patterns of sinful thinking that are perpetuating this? What am I saying? I haven't been thinking about anything more than brown paper bags. Oh! Breathe through my nose! That would be a good idea!"

Thus ended my incredibly odd "panic attack."

I wonder how many people invoke the name "NANC" (National Association of Neuthetic Counselors) while hyperventilating...