A Series of Unfortunate Events

As a general rule, I am not an incredibly graceful or lucky person. In fact, I may even be characterized by unnatural klutziness. Entirely without intention, I tend to wind up in the worst possible situations, which I myself create or encourage. It's like a disease they haven't invented a vaccination for. I'm completely helpless to help myself. I rely almost entirely on luck and the goodwill of others. Unfortunately, my luck ran out this week...

Friday morning. I was in an accident. See post below. It was horrible. But little did I know it was only the beginning...

Several hours later, I learned my car would cost me $3,400 to repair, and that three of my friends were struggling- one's husband was going to jail, one needed intense medication for a health problem, and one had a possible brain tumor.

I was also set to move into my new home in less than 12 hours, and I had packed nothing. Nothing. (Except my winter sweaters...)

I prayed. And got to packing. Halfway through my packing I started crying. No, I was not distressed, my eyes were just watering uncontrollably. I ran to the mirror and was distressed to see my right eye red and swollen. Tears were streaming out of it. (If you've ever cried with just one eye, you know how odd it feels.) I was distraught. I have very large eyes. (Bug eyes, I believe they've been called.) And when one is even slightly red it's very noticeable. This one resembled a cherry tomato more than anything else. Resolutely I wiped my tears and kept on packing.

Fully packed, 11 hours later (yes, I'm superwoman! And also incredibly poor and belongingless...) I was ready to conquer the world. Or at least my small corner of it- 203 T---- T--- in West Lafayette...

I moved in. I was proud. The only furniture other than my bed was my bookshelf. My movers were happy (Thanks Dad and Markus!) but my new abode still looks un-lived in. (Except for the kitchen. Kitchen goods I have!) After everyone had gone, I went outside to pull weeds. I am such a good home owner.

And I locked myself out. No phone. No keys. No garage code. No shoes.

At 10:00 at night I had to go meet my next door neighbors (Jim and Charlotte) and ask to use their phone. They were very nice. Grandparent-like. We sat on the porch (waiting for the locksmith who was going to charge me $100 to open my own door) and chatted. He used to be the Director of Human Resources at Purdue. I know! I was impressed too.

About 11:00 p.m., realizing the expensive locksmith was a total loser (apologies to all other locksmiths), I called my dad. He had spent all day moving me. But he drove back across town and broke into my house with a credit card. I had no idea my father had a criminal past...

Sunday was fairly uneventful except for the fact that I was told my insurance deductible was $1,000. I did not handle my new-found poverty with complete grace. Yes, I cried out of my still puffy eye. And, while crying, realized that my other eye (the left eye) had begun to itch and turn red.

By 8 p.m. both eyes were fiery red. And the left eyes was so swollen that I could barely see out of it.

Monday I had a doctor's appointment. My new medicine and antibiotics for my eyes cost me a whopping $566.34. (My parents are currently transferring health insurance...) My eyes watering (now from shock, and from illness), I stumbled out of Target. I could probably have been declared legally blind...

Tuesday the water company confused my request to turn-on my water, and instead they turned my water off. To make matters worse, when I discovered this I had just spent a good hour in my flower gardens ripping out rocks and digging- I was covered in mud. And shower-less.

I just sat down on my stairs (remember, I'm chair-less, couch-less, table-less, and all round furniture-less) and howled with laughter.

Someday I'm going to write a book about my life... and this will make a great chapter.