Submission. Defined.

Good 'morrow, gentle ladies! This post is specifically for you. Or perhaps I should say this post is for me, and hashing it out for all to read is incredibly helpful. I'm not a natural "thinker" or philosopher. I've never been labeled the "contemplative type." But by talking, by writing, by being forced to place my convictions into coherent sentences, I am able to approach something akin to intelligent thought. I hope.

For the past year I've been digging through the role of women. What does the Bible say, what does our society say, what do Christian thinkers, my mentors, and my friends say? For, whether we like to admit it or not, our definition of womanhood will define our choices and shape our lives. Recently I've started examining the men's role, because that (obviously) also has a strong bearing on how we, as ladies, act, but I'll venture into that realm after it's simmered (i.e. been studied) more.

Today I'm venturing into the realm of "submission." Don't curl up your modern noses at the term which oozes with connotations of inferiority. I know. I've been there, sometimes I still visit there. In our culture, "submission" denotes a hanging head, down-cast eyes, murmurings of assent. It summons up beliefs that one may not, or cannot use one's brain, have an opinion, or pursue one's talents passionately. Some may picture a 1950s family. I did.


To argue such a view of submission, one would have to transfer those same beliefs, not only to women, but also to men, for we are all told to submit to one another "out of reverence to Christ." (Ephesians 5:21) Submission clearly means something else, for the Christian walk is not filled with sniveling, brainless followers.

At least we hope not.

I would purport the following definition of submission:

Submission is a willing support of anothers godly interests and choices in the place of your own, with a conscious effort to enhance their service and abilities through the vibrant and passionate use of your gifts.

Let's unpack it, shall we?

"Willing support" indicates that you are not being coerced into submission. Your strength is supporting. And this is supporting without begrudging. It is "willing." I would argue that this often requires more strength than leading. A lack of willing support doesn't necessarily stem from strength, but rather from pride and selfishness. (James 4:1,7)

"Anothers godly interests" highlights the fact that submission to human authority should never be placed above obedience to God. (Deuteronomy 11:1) Should your authority's desires and choices be contrary to the scripture, or cause you to sin, you are not obligated to submit. But I used the words "interests and choices" because I believe the vast majority of strife in marriages is not caused by clear, black and white issue, but rather by an unwillingness to do something you just don't like. And while (in theory) it would be nice to have a husband whose one goal was to make you happy, there will be times when a choice is just a preference- no morality attached. And ladies, he's allowed to pick something that doesn't make you jump up and down with glee. Once again, it's at these moments when strength is not in the ability to battle, but rather in the ability to graciously not get what you want. This requires humility, another frequently abused character quality of our times. (Philippians 2:1-11) It's easy to say, but doing this "in place of your own" preferences and desires is incredibly difficult. Of this I am quite convinced.

My favorite aspect of this definition, however, is the final phrase which says you should do all this "with a conscious effort to enhance their service and abilities through the vibrant and passionate use of your gifts." This is an aspect of submission that I think is frequently overlooked, but it's what we were designed for. We are designed to help. (Genesis 2:18-24) We, as women, are beautifully gifted in a multitude of areas. I look at the women around me and am astounded at the love, insight, wisdom, kindness, generosity, and compassion which I see (in addition to skills in management, finances, design, art, and intellect). Look at each of those character qualities. How powerful they could be in the life of a man, should they be used to aid and abet his ministry. Submission is not a squashing of your talents, but rather the constant, selfless exercise of these gifts to enhance and strengthen your leader. How Christlike is this focus! And how perfect for the design of women... Think of the women who have shaped Biblical history: Sarah, Deborah, Elizabeth, Dorcas, Ruth, Esther, etc. What variety! Rich, poor, young, old, single, married, different eras, all with a variety of situations and problems, and yet, each defined Biblical womanhood with their separate strengths and abilities. What a wonderful challenge to seek to use our gifts and abilities to enhance and serve others! And let's face it, we, as women, do very well with challenges, so it's nothing to balk at.

So, bring on the challenge of submission! Invite this unconventional use of your gifts, and revel in the delight of service.

That's submission. Defined.





*I recognize that this post leaves many questions unanswered, and perhaps many feathers ruffled: What about when you're single? What about women working? What happens when your submission is abused? etc., etc. Trust me. I understand the limitation of the post I just made. However, take it as it is: a definition, not an exposition. I will touch on additional aspect of femininity and masculinity in future posts. Rome was not built in a day, you know.