Parasitic Compliment

Purdue believes in orienting their new graduate students. That's why we have to go through a 40 hour week of "show diversity!" and "show diversity!" and "show diversity!" presented in 17 different work-shops.

The very last day of orientation (Friday), we were all crowded into Loeb Playhouse, and I looked around.

I was, for the first time in my life, noticeably a minority. My graduate program is (has and will always be) composed of upper-middle class, white females. I would venture to guess the average demographic of the rest of the room's individuals (excepting the twenty-two females mentioned above) was a split between asian and mid-eastern males. My IQ was probably half of the average.

We got a spiel from the mayor about how great it was to live in West Lafayette. (Note: if the mayor has to give a spiel to convince you how great it is.... doesn't that make you suspicious?) Then the dean of graduate admissions stood up and told us how amazing we all were and how lucky Purdue was to have us, etc., etc. It was almost like high school graduation...

And then came the chair of the graduate admissions council.

"You, now, students, are contributing to the fount of knowledge. You will increase the breadth of mankind's understanding. You will give back to the system that you, for so long abused. No longer are you undergraduate parasites sucking on the body of knowledge."

I sat there in stunned silence. My new friend (also white, female, upper-middle class- we minorities have to stick together) was stunned as well. We gazed at the speaker in shock. We glanced and each other with a "Did I hear that right?" look. Did the man forget that 87% of the room had been said "parasites" a few short weeks before? At the end of the speech, the MC said,

"Thank you, Dr. --------. Dr. ----- is a professor in our entomology department."

Then it made sense.

If he is an entomologist, I'm sure he finds parasites fascinating...