The following is an incredibly rough draft. Any comments, suggestions, or editing would be much appreciated. I would have waited until it was "perfect," but I've been waiting for several years now and it's not getting any better- I've hit a wall. Comments would be appreciated.
I happened today.
It’s my first day. I’m me. A very, very little me, but a me, nonetheless.
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Okay, so today I’m technically five weeks old. My mom just found out about me. Yay! Of course, last week I developed a back bone and my brain stem, but that’s kind of old news since today my heart started beating. It was there before, but it never had a regular rhythm. It’s soothing to listen to…Seriously, my arms are going to be huge. I mean, they’re already developing and my mouth and ears are trying to keep up. I think I’m going to be quite good-looking.
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Best day, EVER! I’m going to be blonde! Oh yes I am! I’m so totally psyched. Look! Look! Watch! Did you see that? I’m wiggling! Once again, best day, EVER!
I want so badly to meet my mom. I mean, come on! Who wouldn’t want to meet their mom? She’ll be so impressed with my long arms and legs, just wait until she finds out that I will dominate on the basketball court. Or maybe I’ll play soccer… One thing’s for sure, I’m never joining band. Nope. Not gonna do it.
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Oops. I think I just did something bad… Yeah… Okay, so I was just squirming around and then I did this crazy flip thing. It was so awesome! But I don’t think my mom liked it. Oops... But let’s see… what else is going on… Oh! Yeah, so I have fingernails and eyelashes now. Seriously, it’s a very good thing I’m a guy because no girl would ever want these nails. My eyes are done, almost completely, and guess what? I can move now! I mean, I always moved, but now my nervous system is amazing. The brain- it’s done. Whoo-hoo!!! Can’t wait to see the world!
My mom, my dad. I want to see, taste, smell, hear. Wait till I grow up- it’s going to be amazing. I’m gonna be a blonde basketball player who loves the color red. Yup. Granted, I’ll probably be a little obnoxious. Maybe just a little loud, but I bet my mom loves me. She will! I know it...
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Today my mother killed me.
The above was written based on the biological time-line of normal fetal development up until a partial birth abortion performed at the 26th week of development.
3 comments:
holar...its a good one...still :P
It's a good story. It simply works. I don't have any real suggestions for how to make it better, otehr than perhaps to incoporate more images, and more character development. (Also, the baby seems to have some gender identification issues going). It sure got me, though.
As I was reading, I thought, "hey, this could be a great little book to read to a toddler or young child about to become a big brother or sister". Obviously not. It has a strong message, just needs some fine tuning. I still think it could be made into a book to help a little one understand whats "going on in mommy's tummy".
I enjoyed your blog - just came accross it while looking around... you seem like a fun person! Keep writing - you have real talent!
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