While reading this morning, I was expecting to be struck by a brilliant epiphany regarding Christ's birth and the beauty and love it exemplifies. It was, after all, what I asked for in my pre-devotional prayer. (Which sounded very knowing and wise, but was clearly inadequate.)
Instead I read dutifully through Christ's advent and arrived in chapter 3 without any significant epiphanies, goosebumps, or new perspectives.
Until verse 15.
[John the Baptist had just said it was ridiculous for him to baptize Jesus, and I agree] "Jesus replied, 'Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.' Then John consented."
Jesus followed the rules!
Often I think of my Savior as a rule breaker, someone who defied the conventions of his day, but he obeyed certain mandates. Why?
Why would the God, who can control all of the universe, be humble enough to be baptized by a man whose every sin, he knew?
The commentaries I looked at all said similar things, but I like the summary provided by "Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary" best of all:
"Christ's gracious condescensions are so surprising, that even the strongest believers at first can hardly believe them; so deep and mysterious, that even those who know his mind well, are apt to start objections against the will of Christ... Christ does not deny that John had need to be baptized of him, yet declares he will now be baptized of John. Christ is now in a state of humiliation. Our Lord Jesus looked upon it as well becoming him to fulfil all righteousness, to own every Divine institution, and to show his readiness to comply with all God's righteous precepts."
The humility and obedience of Christ in this one watery, small act is amazing! It would be as if I was being conferred an honorary PhD. in a field that I created, and the person, chosen to give me my hood and diploma was a lowly ditch-digger who knew nothing of my area of expertise. Conversely, it's as if I were asked to give Martha Stewart home decorating tips.
To know of such humility and obedience on Christ's part, is a challenge to practice such humility myself. For of this I am sure: any gap between my knowledge and my "importance" is no where near the gap between Christ and the sinful man who baptized him.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Open my eyes...
Two things have been of recent conviction to me. (Make that three...)
The first is that if I, feeble as I am, desire to become more like Jesus Christ, then I need to know more of Jesus Christ. How does one emulate someone they have merely a passing acquaintance with? For example, I know my mother very, very well. I emulate her without conscious effort. I unconsciously mimic her hand gestures, her inflection, and her opinions. I've spent a lot of time with my mother. I'm delighted to say I have so much in common with her. But there are other women who I would also love to emulate: wise ladies who have had an impact in how I view womanhood, service, etc. But I haven't spent extensive time with them. It would be excessively difficult for me to model someone who I observe on Sundays or holidays. I just don't know them.
The same is true of my relationship with Christ. If I'm not following his gestures, accepting his opinions, chances are that's because I haven't spent enough time developing that relationship-- knowing Christ.
The second conviction is that I am tired of Christmas. **gasp of shock!** There's nothing new. It's the same thing every year. Every year I feel the crunch of my already slender wallet, the frustration of not being able to give people what they really want or need. The decorations are the same. I don't get goosebumps from Christmas carols, and everytime someone says, "Let's read the Christmas story!" I inwardly groan because I've heard the Christmas story so many times that my feeble humanity can no longer expand and wonder at the love which came to earth for me.
And the third conviction is that I've been sadly, woefully neglectful of my writing. I've become apathetic and bored with it as well. Apathy could almost be said to describe this semester... and apathy, my dear friends, is a manifestation of multi-headed sin: selfishness, laziness, pride, and a lack of love.
It is, with this introduction, that I give you my latest project.
I am reading through all the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) in the 24 days prior to Christmas 2009. And rather than allow myself to read apathetically once again, I am issuing my own challenge. Following each day's reading, I will post a small tidbit of my devotional journal on-line. By doing this, I hope you will become my great, (if silent) accountability group.
Tomorrow's journey commences in Matthew 1-4.
Lord, open my eyes that I may see new, delightful things in the great love you showed through your birth, life, and death. Grip my heart with the emotions you experienced, and may your love and self-sacrifice become manifested in my life.
The first is that if I, feeble as I am, desire to become more like Jesus Christ, then I need to know more of Jesus Christ. How does one emulate someone they have merely a passing acquaintance with? For example, I know my mother very, very well. I emulate her without conscious effort. I unconsciously mimic her hand gestures, her inflection, and her opinions. I've spent a lot of time with my mother. I'm delighted to say I have so much in common with her. But there are other women who I would also love to emulate: wise ladies who have had an impact in how I view womanhood, service, etc. But I haven't spent extensive time with them. It would be excessively difficult for me to model someone who I observe on Sundays or holidays. I just don't know them.
The same is true of my relationship with Christ. If I'm not following his gestures, accepting his opinions, chances are that's because I haven't spent enough time developing that relationship-- knowing Christ.
The second conviction is that I am tired of Christmas. **gasp of shock!** There's nothing new. It's the same thing every year. Every year I feel the crunch of my already slender wallet, the frustration of not being able to give people what they really want or need. The decorations are the same. I don't get goosebumps from Christmas carols, and everytime someone says, "Let's read the Christmas story!" I inwardly groan because I've heard the Christmas story so many times that my feeble humanity can no longer expand and wonder at the love which came to earth for me.
And the third conviction is that I've been sadly, woefully neglectful of my writing. I've become apathetic and bored with it as well. Apathy could almost be said to describe this semester... and apathy, my dear friends, is a manifestation of multi-headed sin: selfishness, laziness, pride, and a lack of love.
It is, with this introduction, that I give you my latest project.
I am reading through all the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) in the 24 days prior to Christmas 2009. And rather than allow myself to read apathetically once again, I am issuing my own challenge. Following each day's reading, I will post a small tidbit of my devotional journal on-line. By doing this, I hope you will become my great, (if silent) accountability group.
Tomorrow's journey commences in Matthew 1-4.
Lord, open my eyes that I may see new, delightful things in the great love you showed through your birth, life, and death. Grip my heart with the emotions you experienced, and may your love and self-sacrifice become manifested in my life.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Car Rides, the French Quarter, and Beverly
**New Orleans; ASHA 2009**
Good morning, peoples!
Last night we ate some delicious sea food and were fortunate enough to find the best oysters in town. (We know because they told us so on their sign...)
Actually- "Acme Oysters" were phenomenal, so I believe their claim to be the best in town.
We left Lafayette, IN around 6:15. Look at us, so chipper and optimistic...
Thirteen and a half long hours later, we pulled into New Orleans. Every older, wiser person told me that thirteen hours was a long time. I didn't believe them until hour ten, when time began to stand still. Those last three and a half hours were longer than the entire rest of the trip.
My graduate school friends stop for bathroom breaks more than my family does. As a result, we all stayed very polite and kind the entire trip.
After arriving late (and sneaking into our hotel because they only allow two people per room and we had four), we dolled up and went out on the town. Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten my camera for this expedition, so there is no Courtney footage to document everyone's first oyster, and our incredible Mid-Western shock at the strip clubs that line Bourbon Street.
(Well, at least I was shocked.)
However, the colors are phenomenal, the food indescribable, and our hotel filled with timeless class.
Here's where I'm sitting now- this would be the breakfast nook. Amazing, right?
The yummy breakfast was advertised as "hot," but I'm afraid the only thing that's truly hot is the coffee. However, I'm a college student. Hot coffee is really all I need to survive.
Well, it's off the to convention. I promise that future posts will have more entertaining pictures, but for now, these will have to suffice. I'm going to go get smart now, and stop taking pictures in our hotel hallways.
Good morning, peoples!
Last night we ate some delicious sea food and were fortunate enough to find the best oysters in town. (We know because they told us so on their sign...)
Actually- "Acme Oysters" were phenomenal, so I believe their claim to be the best in town.
We left Lafayette, IN around 6:15. Look at us, so chipper and optimistic...
Thirteen and a half long hours later, we pulled into New Orleans. Every older, wiser person told me that thirteen hours was a long time. I didn't believe them until hour ten, when time began to stand still. Those last three and a half hours were longer than the entire rest of the trip.
My graduate school friends stop for bathroom breaks more than my family does. As a result, we all stayed very polite and kind the entire trip.
After arriving late (and sneaking into our hotel because they only allow two people per room and we had four), we dolled up and went out on the town. Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten my camera for this expedition, so there is no Courtney footage to document everyone's first oyster, and our incredible Mid-Western shock at the strip clubs that line Bourbon Street.
(Well, at least I was shocked.)
However, the colors are phenomenal, the food indescribable, and our hotel filled with timeless class.
Here's where I'm sitting now- this would be the breakfast nook. Amazing, right?
The yummy breakfast was advertised as "hot," but I'm afraid the only thing that's truly hot is the coffee. However, I'm a college student. Hot coffee is really all I need to survive.
Well, it's off the to convention. I promise that future posts will have more entertaining pictures, but for now, these will have to suffice. I'm going to go get smart now, and stop taking pictures in our hotel hallways.
N' AUHLEANS! (New Orleans)
Good morning, faithful readership! It is bright and early on Thursday morning. In fact, it is so bright and early on Thursday that I haven't even had my Wednesday-night rest.
I'm running on approximately 3 1/2 hours of sleep so everything written from here on out should be taken with a grain of salt.
We are safely camped out in our amazing hotel in the French Quarter (pics to follow, of course!).
We drove thirteen hours.
We are all still friends.
And tomorrow (the purpose of this craziness) begins with registration at ASHA (American Speech and Hearing Association). The annual conference is quite a big deal... There are almost 10,000 speech pathologists gathered to fill New Orleans with J. Crew cardigans and talk of "evidence based practice." Some guys on Bourbon Street told us we "looked like speech pathologists."
I'm not sure how I feel about that....
More updates in the morning, this serves as merely a cursory introduction to our adventures in the deep south!
(P.S. I ate some crawfish for y'all!)
I'm running on approximately 3 1/2 hours of sleep so everything written from here on out should be taken with a grain of salt.
We are safely camped out in our amazing hotel in the French Quarter (pics to follow, of course!).
We drove thirteen hours.
We are all still friends.
And tomorrow (the purpose of this craziness) begins with registration at ASHA (American Speech and Hearing Association). The annual conference is quite a big deal... There are almost 10,000 speech pathologists gathered to fill New Orleans with J. Crew cardigans and talk of "evidence based practice." Some guys on Bourbon Street told us we "looked like speech pathologists."
I'm not sure how I feel about that....
More updates in the morning, this serves as merely a cursory introduction to our adventures in the deep south!
(P.S. I ate some crawfish for y'all!)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I apologize about the lack of bloggings... I will try to remedy my negligence. :)
There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack,(for larger kids..) She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family. Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.
Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize ..... She was not selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sometimes I look like a vagabond. A homeless person. A decrepit wreck.
The reason for this general appearance can usually be closely tied to the stress level of my week. Usually, I am understanding of other people's derision of my appearance. It is acceptable. I look awful.
But this week, as I was crossing the street, looking like a homeless vagabond wreck, I got an up-down and snort of derision from a little old, nasty lady smoking a cigarette in her massive, deteriorating automobile. Her lip actually sneered at me!
I didn't blink. I just looked right back at her and thought,
"Sure, I may be wearing an ugly sweat shirt, but my skin care is miles ahead of yours, Ms. Smoker."
This sort of petty vindictiveness means my life is too small...
The reason for this general appearance can usually be closely tied to the stress level of my week. Usually, I am understanding of other people's derision of my appearance. It is acceptable. I look awful.
But this week, as I was crossing the street, looking like a homeless vagabond wreck, I got an up-down and snort of derision from a little old, nasty lady smoking a cigarette in her massive, deteriorating automobile. Her lip actually sneered at me!
I didn't blink. I just looked right back at her and thought,
"Sure, I may be wearing an ugly sweat shirt, but my skin care is miles ahead of yours, Ms. Smoker."
This sort of petty vindictiveness means my life is too small...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
"I had tried to be happy by telling myself that man is an animal, like any other which sought its meat from God. But now I really was happy, for I had learnt that man is a monstrosity. I had been right in feeling all things as odd, for I myself was at once worse and better than all things. The optimist's pleasure was prosaic, for it dwelt on the naturalness of everything; the Christian pleasure was poetic, for it dwelt on the unnaturalness of everything in the light of the supernatural. The modern philosopher had told me again and again that I was in the right place, and I had still felt depressed even in acquiescence. But I had heard that I was in the WRONG place, and my soul sang for joy, like a bird in spring. The knowledge found out and illuminated forgotten chambers in the dark house of infancy. I knew now why grass had always seemed to me as queer as the green beard of a giant, and why I could feel homesick at home."
— G.K. Chesterton (Orthodoxy)
— G.K. Chesterton (Orthodoxy)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Good morning, Fall! How I love you!
I'm wearing my white scarf.
Being someone who loves white scarves, I own quite a few, but this one is my favorite. My mother purchased it for me last fall when the family went on a trip without totally-swamped-in-grad-school me. It's a thick, cable-knit, with a softness that belies its durability and practicality. I'm not good at choosing practicality over attractiveness, but my mother was able to combine them both in this scarf purchase.
I'm sipping dark, strong coffee.
I love very dark, strong, black coffee. But it must have low acidity, or else even my mouth curdles at the excess harshness. Coffee should be soothingly smooth while still aggressively caffeinated. The Papua New Guinea blend s especially rich and smooth. I'm enjoying my bottomless cup...
I spent the morning outside.
Fall foliage is reaching its most resplendent color hues. This morning David and I went to a cross country meet (Rossville did very well!), and I've decided that my children will run cross-country, if for no better reason that they're some of the most enjoyable meets that I've ever been to, and as a mom I could enjoy them with equanimity (and pack some truly amazing snacks).
Now I'm supposedly studying in a coffee shop. In all reality, I'm trying to find a way to begin my newest venture into fiction and I have have little to no interest in completing the dysphagia report that I'm supposed to be writing. But life is more than swallowing and school. This post has no goal nor a point. It only serves to portray my general contentment with the world right now.
I love Fall.
Being someone who loves white scarves, I own quite a few, but this one is my favorite. My mother purchased it for me last fall when the family went on a trip without totally-swamped-in-grad-school me. It's a thick, cable-knit, with a softness that belies its durability and practicality. I'm not good at choosing practicality over attractiveness, but my mother was able to combine them both in this scarf purchase.
I'm sipping dark, strong coffee.
I love very dark, strong, black coffee. But it must have low acidity, or else even my mouth curdles at the excess harshness. Coffee should be soothingly smooth while still aggressively caffeinated. The Papua New Guinea blend s especially rich and smooth. I'm enjoying my bottomless cup...
I spent the morning outside.
Fall foliage is reaching its most resplendent color hues. This morning David and I went to a cross country meet (Rossville did very well!), and I've decided that my children will run cross-country, if for no better reason that they're some of the most enjoyable meets that I've ever been to, and as a mom I could enjoy them with equanimity (and pack some truly amazing snacks).
Now I'm supposedly studying in a coffee shop. In all reality, I'm trying to find a way to begin my newest venture into fiction and I have have little to no interest in completing the dysphagia report that I'm supposed to be writing. But life is more than swallowing and school. This post has no goal nor a point. It only serves to portray my general contentment with the world right now.
I love Fall.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Genesis 1:1, Hebrews 2:9,10
Stars.
Space.
Infinite, unknown world, light years long, incomprehensibly trillions of billions of miles in size.
The Creator of that massive expanse is so much larger than even His unfathomably large creation. I cannot grasp even the created's size, how can I hope to grasp the expanse of the One powerful and large enough to design, orchestrate, and execute a masterpiece of such beauty and size? Falling further and further into space, the world ceases to be visible. The sun, a massive ball of power that we cannot even approach, also slips from view, showing it to be one of the palest of the heavenly bodies. Our solar system disappears into our galaxy which subsequently fades to nothing in a sea of distant stars. An expanse I cannot quantify, cannot imagine.
But above, and throughout, and intimately involved with each detail is my unmeasurable God. And that same, unbelievably infinite, massive God cares about us. About this speck in his creation. He cared so much that he made himself one of us. He made himself small. Because his love is as vast and infinite as his greatness. He came to this tiny, insignificant, undetectable speck of a planet, to save a people who are too self-absorbed and selfish to truly worship the great God who created them in his likeness.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, and high, and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array."
"O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?"
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
Space.
Infinite, unknown world, light years long, incomprehensibly trillions of billions of miles in size.
The Creator of that massive expanse is so much larger than even His unfathomably large creation. I cannot grasp even the created's size, how can I hope to grasp the expanse of the One powerful and large enough to design, orchestrate, and execute a masterpiece of such beauty and size? Falling further and further into space, the world ceases to be visible. The sun, a massive ball of power that we cannot even approach, also slips from view, showing it to be one of the palest of the heavenly bodies. Our solar system disappears into our galaxy which subsequently fades to nothing in a sea of distant stars. An expanse I cannot quantify, cannot imagine.
But above, and throughout, and intimately involved with each detail is my unmeasurable God. And that same, unbelievably infinite, massive God cares about us. About this speck in his creation. He cared so much that he made himself one of us. He made himself small. Because his love is as vast and infinite as his greatness. He came to this tiny, insignificant, undetectable speck of a planet, to save a people who are too self-absorbed and selfish to truly worship the great God who created them in his likeness.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, and high, and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array."
"O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?"
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
Monday, September 21, 2009
Paranoia and Flashing Nascar Shoes
**sigh**
What on earth is wrong with me!?!
Today, while perusing the flow of my Facebook news feed (yes, I was doing so instead of studying), I came across yet another friend from my high school years who had taken the plunge into matrimony, and now she's a mom!
Oh. My. Flipping. Word.
She hasn't been the first of my acquaintances to add the term "mommy" to their resumes. Baby pictures are springing up all over my "home page." And now I'm getting wedding AND baby shower invitations. I had steeled myself to deal with the weddings (and I really enjoy them!). I've gotten pretty good at that. (You don't attend eight weddings in one summer and NOT get good at that.) But BABIES!?! I'M NOT READY FOR BABIES!
If I'm not ready, my peers shouldn't be ready! Right?
I'm still floundering with the idea of what it means to be a wife, but children? I haven't even THOUGHT of children. And now I see others tackling the monumental task of parenting, when I haven't even had the guts to address the "I do forever" aspect of a family.
I spent the morning screening little four and five year olds for speech and language problems (they all passed), and as one little boy sat in front of me, smacking his feet on the floor so I could see how his "flashy Nascar shoes" lit up, while he explained to me that shoes were bought at a shoe store-- I wanted to be a mommy.
I want to teach colors, and marvel at little hands and feet. I want to debate with my husband on whether the baby has my eyes or his. I want to make massive amounts of peanut butter sandwiches, and buy silly band-aids, and pack snacks for the soccer team. I want to paint a wall with chalkboard paint and teach them how to sing "Father Abraham."
But there's so much MORE! The baby will be an immortal soul. It's a baby who will one day grow up and make decisions, and choose whether or not he/she will follow Christ and bring Him glory. The adorable baby will be a sinner who needs to be instructed in the way he/she should go.
I think my view of parenting is the same as my view of marriage. The day-to-day aspect, I think I'd be able to handle. Sure, there will be tough times, but for the most part I think I would enjoy it. However, when I dwell on the enormity of the task, and the seriousness of the commitment, I blanche in terror at my inadequacy to fulfill those roles.
And that's where my problem lies- in expecting my own strength to be the foundation of my "success." What pride on my part! God knew that I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, so He sent His Son. Only when I'm fully relying on His power and the grace administered through the gospel, can I live the role that He designed me for.
Now, how to take that head knowledge and apply it to the fact that I still get abjectly paranoid at the thought of MY being a wife and mother...
What on earth is wrong with me!?!
Today, while perusing the flow of my Facebook news feed (yes, I was doing so instead of studying), I came across yet another friend from my high school years who had taken the plunge into matrimony, and now she's a mom!
Oh. My. Flipping. Word.
She hasn't been the first of my acquaintances to add the term "mommy" to their resumes. Baby pictures are springing up all over my "home page." And now I'm getting wedding AND baby shower invitations. I had steeled myself to deal with the weddings (and I really enjoy them!). I've gotten pretty good at that. (You don't attend eight weddings in one summer and NOT get good at that.) But BABIES!?! I'M NOT READY FOR BABIES!
If I'm not ready, my peers shouldn't be ready! Right?
I'm still floundering with the idea of what it means to be a wife, but children? I haven't even THOUGHT of children. And now I see others tackling the monumental task of parenting, when I haven't even had the guts to address the "I do forever" aspect of a family.
I spent the morning screening little four and five year olds for speech and language problems (they all passed), and as one little boy sat in front of me, smacking his feet on the floor so I could see how his "flashy Nascar shoes" lit up, while he explained to me that shoes were bought at a shoe store-- I wanted to be a mommy.
I want to teach colors, and marvel at little hands and feet. I want to debate with my husband on whether the baby has my eyes or his. I want to make massive amounts of peanut butter sandwiches, and buy silly band-aids, and pack snacks for the soccer team. I want to paint a wall with chalkboard paint and teach them how to sing "Father Abraham."
But there's so much MORE! The baby will be an immortal soul. It's a baby who will one day grow up and make decisions, and choose whether or not he/she will follow Christ and bring Him glory. The adorable baby will be a sinner who needs to be instructed in the way he/she should go.
I think my view of parenting is the same as my view of marriage. The day-to-day aspect, I think I'd be able to handle. Sure, there will be tough times, but for the most part I think I would enjoy it. However, when I dwell on the enormity of the task, and the seriousness of the commitment, I blanche in terror at my inadequacy to fulfill those roles.
And that's where my problem lies- in expecting my own strength to be the foundation of my "success." What pride on my part! God knew that I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, so He sent His Son. Only when I'm fully relying on His power and the grace administered through the gospel, can I live the role that He designed me for.
Now, how to take that head knowledge and apply it to the fact that I still get abjectly paranoid at the thought of MY being a wife and mother...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Recognizing that 1) I am too busy to adequately maintain this blog, and 2) that women have crazy ideals, and 3) men like football
And because this just makes me laugh... :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Together Happiness
Tonight, as Julie and I were walking into Target holding hands, she stopped and looked up at me,
"Cookie! We're together!"
My little heart became very happy, and I replied,
"Yes, we are together. I like it, don't you?"
She smiled and sighed contentedly, "Yes."
"Cookie! We're together!"
My little heart became very happy, and I replied,
"Yes, we are together. I like it, don't you?"
She smiled and sighed contentedly, "Yes."
Monday, August 24, 2009
Define: seek (sēk) v. sought (sôt), seek·ing, seeks: To try to locate or discover; search for, To endeavor to obtain or reach
This morning, I spent some time on Psalm 105:4, and the following struck me...
If it is my job to seek God, and if the riches that follow such a quest are as great as they are, why is it that I so constantly get pulled away and distracted? The competing activities and thoughts all come down to one thing:
I do not know my God.
Could I but see a glimpse of the power and overwhelming beauty of my Savior and God, no doubt all else would be wiped from my mind, and I could not even entertain viewing another as more important than the Almighty.
A life that is lived seeking the glory of my God is accomplished by knowing that same God. That knowledge erases all other thoughts and distractions. How simple is the recipe for Christian growth! How gracious of God to make it so! Only through knowing him, having an increasing knowledge of his love, grace, mercy, justice, sacrifice... (etc.) can I expect life-transforming change as I become the creature he created me to be for his glory.
What a delightful quest! How pleasant the painful task of change becomes when I realize that I am not in the foreground. My God is.
Lord, allow me to follow Psalm 105:4 today...
"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."
(Ps. 105:4)
If it is my job to seek God, and if the riches that follow such a quest are as great as they are, why is it that I so constantly get pulled away and distracted? The competing activities and thoughts all come down to one thing:
I do not know my God.
Could I but see a glimpse of the power and overwhelming beauty of my Savior and God, no doubt all else would be wiped from my mind, and I could not even entertain viewing another as more important than the Almighty.
A life that is lived seeking the glory of my God is accomplished by knowing that same God. That knowledge erases all other thoughts and distractions. How simple is the recipe for Christian growth! How gracious of God to make it so! Only through knowing him, having an increasing knowledge of his love, grace, mercy, justice, sacrifice... (etc.) can I expect life-transforming change as I become the creature he created me to be for his glory.
What a delightful quest! How pleasant the painful task of change becomes when I realize that I am not in the foreground. My God is.
Lord, allow me to follow Psalm 105:4 today...
"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."
(Ps. 105:4)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Vacationing in Motherhood
My parents are out of town (celebrating 28 years together), and I've been staying at their house, playing "mom." Tonight Julie, my three year old sister, walked up to me cradling a bottle of baby shampoo.
"Cookie, 'dis is Baby Sutton." I look down, distracted from the fifteenth checking of my e-mail in the past twenty minutes.
"Ohhh... that's Baby Sutton?" She nods, bouncing the baby on her non-existent hip.
"And Cookie, Baby Sutton not happy now. She need Cheerios."
"Will Cheerios make Baby Sutton happy?"
"Yes. She need 'em. She grumpy." (Hmmm... there are days when I could do with a handful of Cheerios...)
I obligingly got the cereal down from the pantry, and we both picked out a "baby" bowl that was suitable for Baby Sutton.
"Now, Mommy Julie," I said, "you need to be careful, and help Baby Sutton eat her Cheerios. Sometimes babies choke if they don't have help." Her eyes opened wide, and she nodded seriously.
"I be careful. Promise, Cookie."
For the remainder of that hour, Baby Sutton and Julie went everywhere together. Julie told her "be kind, have a happy heart, Baby!" and rocked her, introduced her to the various family members, and sang creative, yodeling lullabies that only she and Baby Sutton could understand.
As I watched her ministrations to a bottle of shampoo, treating it as tenderly as she would have any baby, I remembered something I heard one of the sponsors of the college class say this morning,
"I have the best job in the world- I'm a wife and mom."
Tonight, cuddling Julie on my lap, making yummy yogurt smoothies, and playing "pretend" with a shampoo bottle, I couldn't help but think: no matter what the world may tell me about "building my career" and "not letting your talents be 'wasted' at home," and no matter where others may tell me my worth lies (money, fame, etc.)- I think I could ask for no better job than to listen to yodeling lullabies and teaching colors one Crayola crayon at a time. Thank you, Julie and "Baby Sutton", for reminding me of that.
:)
"Cookie, 'dis is Baby Sutton." I look down, distracted from the fifteenth checking of my e-mail in the past twenty minutes.
"Ohhh... that's Baby Sutton?" She nods, bouncing the baby on her non-existent hip.
"And Cookie, Baby Sutton not happy now. She need Cheerios."
"Will Cheerios make Baby Sutton happy?"
"Yes. She need 'em. She grumpy." (Hmmm... there are days when I could do with a handful of Cheerios...)
I obligingly got the cereal down from the pantry, and we both picked out a "baby" bowl that was suitable for Baby Sutton.
"Now, Mommy Julie," I said, "you need to be careful, and help Baby Sutton eat her Cheerios. Sometimes babies choke if they don't have help." Her eyes opened wide, and she nodded seriously.
"I be careful. Promise, Cookie."
For the remainder of that hour, Baby Sutton and Julie went everywhere together. Julie told her "be kind, have a happy heart, Baby!" and rocked her, introduced her to the various family members, and sang creative, yodeling lullabies that only she and Baby Sutton could understand.
As I watched her ministrations to a bottle of shampoo, treating it as tenderly as she would have any baby, I remembered something I heard one of the sponsors of the college class say this morning,
"I have the best job in the world- I'm a wife and mom."
Tonight, cuddling Julie on my lap, making yummy yogurt smoothies, and playing "pretend" with a shampoo bottle, I couldn't help but think: no matter what the world may tell me about "building my career" and "not letting your talents be 'wasted' at home," and no matter where others may tell me my worth lies (money, fame, etc.)- I think I could ask for no better job than to listen to yodeling lullabies and teaching colors one Crayola crayon at a time. Thank you, Julie and "Baby Sutton", for reminding me of that.
:)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Wordless, in need of Wisdom
Written words are my delight. If I am unable to verbalize something, or incapable of communicating what I truly mean, I sit down, and begin to write. I write when I'm happy, sad, nostalgic, contrite. I write when I learn, when I want to learn, and when I don't even know that I need to learn. I write to make people laugh. I write to make people think. I write for the joy of stringing together words such as "glinting gossamer" and "merciful justice," creating new ideas and new pictures, and new thoughts.
However, although it does not happen often, sometimes I am completely unable to write. I have no words, only emotions, and typing over and over again does nothing to coherently convey what I'm attempting to tell.
That's what's happening tonight.
I don't have the words, I don't have the wisdom, and I don't have the knowledge. I can't put a series of vocabulary words together to make sense of what I'm attempting to convey. But "every word of God is flawless." (Proverbs 30:5) and "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)
Lord, tonight I lack wisdom. But you create flawless words, give me some of those... Because tonight Lord, I really need them.
However, although it does not happen often, sometimes I am completely unable to write. I have no words, only emotions, and typing over and over again does nothing to coherently convey what I'm attempting to tell.
That's what's happening tonight.
I don't have the words, I don't have the wisdom, and I don't have the knowledge. I can't put a series of vocabulary words together to make sense of what I'm attempting to convey. But "every word of God is flawless." (Proverbs 30:5) and "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5)
Lord, tonight I lack wisdom. But you create flawless words, give me some of those... Because tonight Lord, I really need them.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Truth
I think there are days when following Philippians 4:8 is just a wee bit harder than it is on other days. Of all the attributes we are to imbue our thoughts with (true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy), I believe the one I struggle with the most is "true."
For example, from the time when I was a young child up until I left home, I would stand at the window, waving goodbye to my parents, convinced that they were never going to come home and that this would be the last time I would be able to tell them that I loved them. Clearly, they're still here, and I wasted many hours, fearfully believing something untrue.
Or there were the times when I didn't play hide-and-seek because I was convinced that as soon as I made myself vulnerable at any angle, then I would be attacked by the monster who had just taken up residence under our coffee table. (He only lived there during hid-and-seek.)
Of course, as I got older some of my fears seemed to become a little more tangible. (Although I still remember hiding from the Hound of the Baskervilles in eighth grade...) Fear of not graduating, fear of not getting a job, fear of failure, fear of never getting married, fear of getting married...
Rather than choosing to build my beliefs and my actions around things that were true, I spent my time hypothesizing an entire slew of possible errors, failures, and mishaps.
Today, the old army of fear is at it again. Amazing how I can face the same enemy in such an assortment of ways. My untrue thoughts today are focused on something I never thought I would fear. But here I am...
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.... And the God of peace will be with you." [a]
Merely stating, "oops, that's an untrue thought!" is not enough. I must actively search for truth to replace my lies.
But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God's unfailing love
for ever and ever.
I will praise you forever for what you have done;
in your name I will hope, for your name is good.
I will praise you in the presence of your saints. [b]
I will trust.
I will praise.
I will hope.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." [d]
This is the truth.
************
[a] Philippians 4:8, 9b
[b] Psalm 52:8,9
[c] I John 4:8,9
For example, from the time when I was a young child up until I left home, I would stand at the window, waving goodbye to my parents, convinced that they were never going to come home and that this would be the last time I would be able to tell them that I loved them. Clearly, they're still here, and I wasted many hours, fearfully believing something untrue.
Or there were the times when I didn't play hide-and-seek because I was convinced that as soon as I made myself vulnerable at any angle, then I would be attacked by the monster who had just taken up residence under our coffee table. (He only lived there during hid-and-seek.)
Of course, as I got older some of my fears seemed to become a little more tangible. (Although I still remember hiding from the Hound of the Baskervilles in eighth grade...) Fear of not graduating, fear of not getting a job, fear of failure, fear of never getting married, fear of getting married...
Rather than choosing to build my beliefs and my actions around things that were true, I spent my time hypothesizing an entire slew of possible errors, failures, and mishaps.
Today, the old army of fear is at it again. Amazing how I can face the same enemy in such an assortment of ways. My untrue thoughts today are focused on something I never thought I would fear. But here I am...
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.... And the God of peace will be with you." [a]
Merely stating, "oops, that's an untrue thought!" is not enough. I must actively search for truth to replace my lies.
But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God's unfailing love
for ever and ever.
I will praise you forever for what you have done;
in your name I will hope, for your name is good.
I will praise you in the presence of your saints. [b]
I will trust.
I will praise.
I will hope.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." [d]
This is the truth.
************
[a] Philippians 4:8, 9b
[b] Psalm 52:8,9
[c] I John 4:8,9
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